unreliable nonfiction narrator.

is this possible? the instructor of my creative nonfiction workshop this past semester, a fellow given to making definitive, absolute proclamations, was pretty sure that it wasn’t.

the subject came up during the subject of my second workshop piece. he (the instructor) observed that my draft (and first workshop piece) left the reader adrift, unable to locate the narrator in the flood of information and ideas. this was interesting to me, because, in a way, it was the effect i was going for. i didn’t want to claim any kind of authority- narrative or otherwise -because that would imply superiority to my subject (i was writing about incels), something i wasn’t interested in doing in the piece.

however, his opinion was that it wasn’t working that way. he argued (with absolute certainty, as he had no problem claiming authority) that i was simply leaving the essay without a center, leaving my reader with nothing to hold onto. (again, this was kind of my intention, to be honest.) he validated my idea of not wanting to look down on my subject, but he believed that i could (and should) have a strong, narrative center to the essay (“Let us know who you are and where we are at all times”) and still accomplish this goal. otherwise, he ventured, it’s like i’m trying to be, like, an unreliable narrator in a creative nonfiction piece. which, that doesn’t exist.

but doesn’t it? inasmuch as there’s no such thing as a ‘reliable narrator’ (which i would probably argue is true), why shouldn’t there be unreliable nonfiction narrators? i guess i can understand what he’s getting at (though he didn’t elaborate, because the discussion pivoted to something less interesting). if we’re questioning the reliability of the narrator, then doesn’t that call the whole ‘nonfiction’ part of the thing into question? but (i would counter) if we pretend that some individual can lay claim to absolute, unimpeachable TRUTH~, isn’t that the biggest fiction of all? if we ever want to engage in true nonfiction, actual REAL FUCKING TALK, shouldn’t it be a pre-requisite to acknowledge the impossibility of such a thing? the last thing i find reliable, personally, is some fool who claims absolute reliability.

i don’t’ know. i’m thinking about this.

really, i am.