people pass by
all days
pick and choose who i
want to be
like hats i want to wear

imagine everyone wearing those
Devo hats
you know, the red ones
maybe like geometric shaped
in reality they’d feed those things to their dogs
take drunken shits in them

not sure if they’re on their way out
or pushing me crowding me out of the space
mostly not engaged
anyway

listening to hardcore rap music
taking note
learning all the ways to onomatopoeically imitate
the sound of gunfire
pap-pap!;
bbbrr~r~r~r~r~r~r~r~r~rat!;
doot-doot!;
bucka-bucka-buh-bucka-bucka-
blaow!
M.O.P. is great for this—
a couple of cartoon characters, like Don Draper or Tony Soprano or Walter White
any of the critiques made into celebrations
#goals
because we have agency
we decide how we engage and
what we engage with

do i scream about this?
do i shake some sense
into everyone?
(i absolutely dream about this)
everywhere there is to turn
you run into the big, dumb border wall,
and the process of exploding the thing
blows your ass to pieces, too
should we tunnel even further down?
can we dig our way out?

driving,
and Danny Brown says the n-word:
is it strength when i shout along with him
or when i pause
to think about my choice?
is it strength that i choose to write
‘the n-word’
instead of the word itself
or is it a defeat?
should i embrace defeat,
force my ugly-crying in their faces?

bored, disinterested bullies
junior high wrestling coach’s veiny temples
overweight hollow-tip bullets
callous, grease-stained hands that jerk you off
as they hold you down
(or hold you down as they jerk you off)
or soft, pale hands that haven’t done a day of real work in their lives
but they get righteously pissed on the weekends
a dad bod

you know what?
i think those hats are called energy domes
they are an alternative
they look dumb.