i’m talking to a young woman. we’ve just met recently, and we’re working together over the summer. we’re discussion prejudice, sexism, racism; all the important stuff. i’m trying to explain my perspective on these things, and it’s not going well:

“ohhh, okay. i think i know what you mean. i’ve heard guys make this argument before. it’s ‘everyone is racist/racism is the natural state, and that can’t be changed, and the only rational response to that is to align with your own group’s interests.”

this is a recurring theme, and i don’t like it. in fact, it scares the hell out of me.

i have to back up and disassociate myself from these guys that she’s met, because that is absolutely not my argument. i’m familiar with it, and i’ve also seen people espousing it, but it’s never occurred to me that my own perspective could be confused with theirs. it’s not a good look, but it also makes me question myself. this woman i’m talking to is not stupid, so if she can misintrepret my ideas like this, then i’m either explaining them poorly or i need to do some thinking.

it reminds me of something that my partner once said to me, actually.

during a discussion of the Tea Party, the conservative movement that arose during and in reaction to the presidency of Barack Obama, she threw this in my face:

“You know you’re like those Tea Party people, right? I would think you would be more sympathetic to them, considering that you both distrust the government for, basically, the same reasons, and you both want to burn it down rather than work to make the system better. You both don’t trust the media, even if the reasons are different. You’re saying the same things, just your explanation is different. The end result is identical. So, when you critique them, it’s honestly a little weird.”

oof.