when i was little i used to constantly worry about how i understood the world, if it made sense to others the same way it made sense to me. i would lay awake at night wondering if the things i saw, the things i said and did, meant what i thought they meant.  if i take a spelling test and i write down my answers, what does it mean when someone else looks at it? i hear the teacher say “automobile,” (but what they have really said is “-..–/***”) and i write on my paper what I believe is “automobile,” but when anyone else looks at it they see

　　            ∧ ∧
(,,ﾟДﾟ)      Oh
| つつ       No!
～|　|
∪∪

and this is not the correct answer for “-..–/***.” but when they try to tell me that i am wrong, that i have misunderstood, all i understand is “good job! you are an excellent speller!” and repeated instances of this type lead to everyone being perpetually angry and out of patience with me, constantly yelling and dismissing me, which i misunderstand as them being kind and supportive. people hate me because i can’t see or understand the world. when i am supposed to be crying i think it is my turn at the drinking fountain. i think i am supposed to kick the ball when it is rolled towards me, but everyone is so because i won’t stop being rest. i don’t understand that over is under actually, that when the teacher looks at me it is because i’m not supposed to be they’ll let again, that when i help other students with remainders Iie am making actual laughs i’m ton speaking elevant english, raise her why her. i am a football fish at a cuddle party.

it was a terrible feeling. fortunately, it doesn’t happen as much these days.